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[13 Jul 2008|11:27pm]
i get to do something i've been dreaming of for a very long time tmrw - i get to take mickey and minnie mouse around a children's hospital here in richmond.

there really are no words to express how excited i am about the situation.

however, i'm also very aware of the fact that i could have some falshbacks to when dad was in the hospital - granted no costumed characters visited him.

i've been thinking recently - it's really funny the way that my life has been playing out recently. i've been doing things that i've been dreaming of for a long time, like visiting disneyland and the walt disney studios - things that make me so very tahnkful for where i am in my life right now. and tmrw i get to basically do what i want to do for the rest of my life.
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A Lecture in Living [21 Feb 2008|01:25am]
This is a video I was sent. It's a professor's "Last Lecture".
He's dying of cancer - the same kind my dad had.
The video is from Oprah and I think it's very powerful.


I sent the video to my mother & got this response from her:

"WOW!! hard to type thru the tears.....but I will tell u that is how Daddy and I lived the last year of his life...we had fun and realize the truly important things in life...your Dad was as strong and positive as this guy...I want u to know...Daddy never complained...never asked why me...and did any thing the doctors asked him to do ...he was so sad to think he would leave you and Tyler so young. He loved you very very much and would be so proud of you today and all you have accomplished and the wonderful goals you have and are achieving ..never doubt that. You were his #1 son..I can see him looking at you for the first time in the hospital....love at first site! Mom"

I tear up everytime I read her response. It's so hard to think that it's been so long since he's been out of our lives. It's so hard to remember his laugh when the last memory I have of him is sitting in that old, brown La-Z-Boy chair. It was snowing and Aunt Sandi took Tyler and I to her house. Mom knew that he was going to be going that weekend. She didn't want us there. I remember that phone call at Aunt Sandi's. It was the Super Bowl. And she came downstairs, in no make-up, which was akward, and was crying. She said Mom was on the phone. And she told us. She told us that Dad died. And that she was holding his hand and so was Aunt Terry. I don't show too many emotions other than happy, but right now I can't stop crying. And I miss him. Would he be proud of me? I ask myself that almost everyday and I hate that I have to ask myself that. But would he be?

I had to grow up pretty quickly when he got sick and died. And I remember when Mom called me and Tyler into their bed room and told us that Daddy was very sick and that he didn't have much time to live. And at the funeral I remember one of Dad's sisters crying really loudly. And then Tyler, Mom, & I each took a rose off of the spray. Then we put them in the nitche. And a message.

It's just so hard for me to rationalize how I feel since it's been so long.

I have another blog which I make Vlogs on.
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[16 Nov 2007|03:32pm]
came to the conclusion recently that i lack the ability to hold and/or carry on an adult conversation.
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seriously... [04 Nov 2007|12:42am]
i dont want to play this game with my family.
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[25 Aug 2007|01:53am]
& so chapter 3 of my college life begins monday.
& i don't think i could be more excited.
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[06 Jul 2007|12:50am]
sometimes i forget what your laugh was like
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LJ [25 Jun 2007|12:54am]
As I sit here, looking at my old journal entries and journals, I realized how much of my life is documented on this site.

I got an LJ at the end of 8th grade. That would have been 2001.

It started with dizneblu147 (why'd I delete that?), then ryactor, followed by my icon journal - dizzy_dreamer, and now illtakeyou.

It's just funny to watch how my life played out and what was important to me and things like that.
I think it's really amazing that my high school years were all documented pretty well on ryactor. When, you know, I thought I was going to be an actor and now I dress as a woman to perform.

It's also really cool to think about the people I've met thought LJ - Amy, MaDonna, Jil. I don't really talk to them anymore, but they were some of my first internet friends.

I hope I've grown up.
I hope that I'm more mature, responsible, and respectable as a person than I was "back then".

I just thought I'd reflect on that for like 2 seconds because I think it's worth mentioning.

Unless something really NICKtastic happens at KD next season, I believe this is going to be my last season there. It's kind of bittersweet. But I think, just like LJ usernames, it's time for a change.
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[01 Jun 2007|11:53pm]

what's a girl to do?
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[01 Jun 2007|12:07am]
So, my friend Bailey gave me this great idea.
It's a summer time picture-a-day journal.
I started it today.

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[09 May 2007|02:34pm]
i just used "robot attacks" as a reason as to why everything in our society is so routine
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[22 Apr 2007|02:47am]
Every since Monday's events at Tech - I've been off.
I'm not sure why.
I'm in that wierd mood that doesn't sit right on me.
I have no words to describe how I feel -
Or why I feel that way.
And I think that's the most upsetting part - not knowing how to handle and or explain it.

It just sucks that I have so much stuff to do before May 3rd.
Hi - my name is Ryan & my high school in no way prepared me for college.
I'm just figuring this out as a Sophomore.
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Patriot Center [11 Apr 2007|05:41pm]
Dear Patriot Center,

You have truly out triffed yourself in 2007.
Ricky Martin will be here on April 27th, Chyanne on May 6th, and High School Musical On Ice in October.
Please consider making less trife performancers occur.
Also - students should prob. get freer tickets to your trifeass shows.



GMU students/lovers of all things trife
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[04 Apr 2007|12:44am]
dear universal-
plz stop being tacky and attacking disney's ticket prices

no one wants to go to your gay ass parks anyway

no one goes to orlando for universal since you guys got rid of the nickelodeon stuidos

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[20 Mar 2007|06:37pm]
GMU's Annual Drag Show is April 6th in the Johnson Center.

Hosted by GMU's own Reann Ballslee & Oliver Clothesoff

Bring your one dollar bills & get ready to have a great time.

[some material may not be okay for the kids - duhz]

Scheduled to perform:
Billy Boy'd, Foxx, Oliver Clothesoff, Reann Ballslee, Esmerelda Kane Jaymes, Regina Jozet Adams, Dallas, E-Cleff, Rocky, Jezzibell Bottoms, Noah Rex, Coco Monroe.

A special number by the Spice Girls will also be performed featuring Reann Ballslee, Macy Pennys, Brenda Tittelsworth, Kim Chi, and Rihanna Ballslee.
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[08 Feb 2007|11:40pm]
by craig lucas
{GMU's Black Box Theatre}
Limited number of FREE tickets for GMU Students
Feb. 15th @ 8:00 // Feb. 16th @ 8:00
Feb. 17th @ 2:00 & 8:00 // Feb. 18th @ 2:00
[come see my costume designs as well as a great show]
[also, the director is an amazingly talented person & she's cute]
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[03 Feb 2007|02:29am]
i'm glad that the lift hill & drop are done and i can continue to ride without having to worry about too many ups & downs.

until i ride again...
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[29 Jan 2007|11:37pm]
im very worried about being rehired at kd for some reason.
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[25 Jan 2007|10:42pm]
i hear in my mind
all of these voices
i hear in my mind
all of these words
i hear in my mind
all of this music
and breaks my heart
and breaks my heart
breaks my h-h-h-h-heartq
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[22 Jan 2007|12:41am]
today is the kind of day where i wish i was still in high school because then we could all oh & ah at the snow and someone in the back of the room who usually was rude to everyone including the teacher could say something like "WHAT?1 YA'LL AXTIN' LIKE YOU AIN'T NEVVEA SEEN NO SNOW BAFOR!"

which, when translated means, "what? you all are acting as if you have never seen snow prior to this time"
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[17 Jan 2007|12:26am]
PLANS for the new year
not resolutions, just ideas:

-be healthier [eat less gross food, work out, walk more, etc.]
-don't spend so much money [rere may be taking a back seat soon] / use my meal plan - that's why i have it
-be more honest with my friends [they deserve it]
-use my time in a better way
-enjoy every moment at mason, because i'll be heading back to rva every weekend for pkd
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